The Inner Joy

Already in my childhood I felt a bliss that ensured me there must be some higher Power. I shared this feeling of bliss with other children and we called it ‘Inner Joy.’

My parents’ home was Protestant and much value was laid on going to the Sunday school. There it was told about some higher Power, God, but the narrations could never fill my heart with Love of God as that bliss in my heart already did.

The more I grew and directed my attention to worldly duties, the ‘Inner Bliss’ became less and less. One day it seemed as if it was all gone.

Many years passed by asking myself how to regain that ‘joy.’ I searched for a solution in various ways of yoga. I read many books on yoga trying to put into practice what was described there. Once I read of a special seated posture – asana – that should be done for gaining enlightenment. But despite all my efforts to follow the instructions I did not gain enlightenment. Even meditation about the sound ‘Om’ could not bring me any further.

Later I read of Kirpal Singh:

Spirituality is an Inner Experience and its alphabet begins where all philosophy and yoga practices terminate. It is an experience of the soul.

Spiritual Elixir –
Part II: II. Meditation,
by Kirpal Singh, 1894–1974

Soon I realised that was not the way to reach the Almighty – such sublime Power that filled my heart with Love. And so my search went on.

One day my son became very ill and no doctor could be of help. Then he got the address of a naturopath in Leipzig. There he got special treatment and his disease took a positive turn. He recovered.

Having health problems too I also made my way to Leipzig to go to the mentioned naturopath. She took much of her time for me and I got very good treatments and medicine. My son had already told me that not only a very good naturopathy was done here but even Spirituality was held aloft.

So it came about that the naturopath, her husband and I talked amongst others about Spiritual Subjects. Now I could not even learn enough about Spirituality and absorbed all what was told. I stayed in Leipzig for some days and felt this was quite the right place.

At this time I still took those strong psychotropics that I had to take since the age of 36. Whenever trying to discontinue them the physical withdrawal was so intensive that my problems became even worse. But at the age of 65 I came to know that whosoever takes psychotropics or drugs will not be initiated into Naam. The naturopath’s husband advised me to instantly discontinue them. Hereupon I never took them again and with Kirpal’s help I never felt anything negative. I was simply fine. It was like a miracle.

At the age of 66 I was initiated into Naam. I got a first-hand experience of Naam and now I am consciously connected with the Almighty. Now I know that reunion with the Almighty can only be achieved through meditation. Reading books is helpful to understand the theoretical basics but mere theory is of no use without practice. The other way round even practice alone is of no use because what is practically experienced mostly cannot be rightly understood. But because of the Great Blessing in this age both go hand in hand.

We are indeed very fortunate to possess the fine records of those gifted persons, for They kindle in us the desire and longing to solve this most baffling problem and inspire us with hope that we too, like Them, can unravel the mystery of life and solve the problem of human existence. Theory precedes practice. The practice leads to contact with the Living Link within. For this experience, the soul must temporarily disconnect itself from the body and senses and become a pure soul with no strings attached.

Spiritual Elixir –
Part I: XI. God, Spirit and Soul,
by Kirpal Singh, 1894–1974

From now on I was allowed to meditate well. Regularly, at home or wherever I was I sat down for meditation in the way it was explained to me at initiation. Attending the True Satsang meditation was quite easier and I had very beautiful experiences according to Sant Mat. I realised that Kirpal is amongst us. Very often I was allowed to see the golden Light. Because of growing meditations, even at night – Amrit Vela – I got more and more experiences and help by Kirpal.

[…] It is all wrought by the Master. Once He takes charge of the soul, it becomes His responsibility to work out this transformation by gradually eliminating all traces of dross and converting the soul into pure gold. Even a most elementary experience of this stage sets at rest all doubts and misgivings. It is enough to awaken a soul into Cosmic Awareness, and from then onward it is established in its own and is no longer a prey to scepticism.

Prayer / Its Nature and Technique –
IX. / (iii) Spiritual,
by Kirpal Singh, 1894–1974

Now I even felt again that Inner Joy and Bliss that I had felt as a child and I knew it was Kirpal, the Almighty Himself, the higher Power or ‘Inner Joy’ filling me with Love and being pure Love. Not only as soul I am very blessed for being connected with Naam but even as a happy mother having two sons who are initiated too.

On my way I could learn a lot and develop as human being. As my constant companion Kirpal blesses me with wonderful meditations and day for day develops within me right understanding.

Oftentimes I had physical sufferings but whenever I turned to Kirpal in such moments they slipped away immediately. One day I had a serious migraine headache with sight disorder and no sooner had I asked Kirpal for help than it was gone. Recently I fell in the garden. Months before I already had serious low-back pain and thought it was all broken now. But when I stood up my pains were gone. It was almost miraculous. I realised the greatness of Kirpal’s Love. Being accompanied by Him in all moments of life we are never alone in our misery. I also learned there is no difference whether the body is suffering or not. The Pralabdh Karma must be carried out and Kirpal decides when to burden it on the physical body. And as long as the soul is absorbed in loving thoughts to Kirpal it will never harm her for He is the only Doer carrying all our burdens.

The Pralabdh Karma is not touched by Saints because this is the cause of the physical body, which would vanish due to the interference with Nature’s Laws. Thus a very small amount of karma now remains to be tolerated in the physical body for the remaining years of the disciple’s life, but even this is softened by the Grace of the Master. The law of Grace works wonders and a devotee, who out of loving devotion, reposes all his hopes in the Master, passes off unscathed from the pinching effects of the reactions of past karmas. In moments of misery, worry and trouble, the Master is our refuge. He acts unperceived at any distance. Just as a mother of a sick child holds the child securely in her lap during an operation so that it does not feel any pain, so too the Master holds us in His loving embrace.

Out of Their abundance of sympathy, Love and kindness, the Saints at times take upon Their own shoulders some karmic sufferings of Their disciples through the Law of Sympathy. There is no court of trial after death for a devoted disciple. The Master is all in all for him.

Man, know thyself –
Chapter VIII: Karmas – Actions and Deeds,
by Kirpal Singh, 1894–1974

One day I sat in the office of a disciple. He explained to me that actually everything is drenched in golden Light and that this is the blessing of Sat Purush permeating every atom and every pore. Of course this can only be said by someone who sees things himself. Looking out of the window I saw it all confirmed. Everything was golden with stars everywhere, bright and illuminated – every tree and shrub. My point of view was broadened and I thanked the disciple – for only what you have within yourself can have the effect in someone else – but the disciple simply said it was all Kirpal’s Grace.

Oftentimes I also realised the golden aura of a True Disciple who is no burden for the universe anymore and moves rather hovering than walking.

One sublime experience within was for example when I flew in companionship through the whole universe. We passed all planetary regions. I felt nothing but pure bliss and actually did not want to return. Never before in my life neither physical nor spiritual I had experienced something suchlike wonderful and sublime. (See also ‘The Soul’s Journey.’)

Now I am 73 years old (2011) and rejoice in Naam day for day through Kirpal’s blessings. There are some ‘hills’ to climb but one day in this life I will even make that with Kirpal’s help. I wish every man to gain the connection with the Almighty. So I can only recommend to all elderly people that it is never to late to start a sincere search.

The cry from the heart is not left unattended; God hears the prayer of those seeking Him – but His ways are strange and wondrous and incomprehensible to man. And so Amar Das, having spent more than seventy years of His life in fervent prayer, became almost exhausted from the long, long quest before the Divine Mercy was to become manifest to Him.

The Life of Guru Amar Das