My Search for Him

One of my first memories is when I went to church as a little boy with my grandmother.

From then on I always wanted to know who or what is God – where does He live, how to get to Him, can one speak with Him as with a human?

I could hardly wait for my communion because I thought, then I would have made it, to be One with Him.

Correspondingly large was the disappointment when I then realized that nothing had yet changed.

Kirpal said analogously:

Religions promise something after death, philosophers put up theses,psychologists work with intellectual conclusions, mystics give the experience in the here and now.

Time passed but, but curiosity remained.

In my youth I read all sorts of books, also about religions and different “beliefs” but the magic was gone now - the feeling of being on the right track.

At some point I read a book which was about the “Secret Rulers of the World.” In it there was a whole section in which the author mentioned the history of creation out of the Anurag Sagar.

I melted into tears and from the bottom of my heart I asked:

Oh God, is that true?

A feeling of Light-Love and Truth flowed through me from above and a voice within me said,

Yes. That's the truth.

This was my first real “Spiritual experience”. The magic was now back again.

Unfortunately, I was misled and ended up with a false master – the grandsonof Kirpal Singh.

K. S. (1894–1974) emphasised that nobody of His family would become His successor; nevertheless after His physical departure His son Darshan Singh was proclaimed as such, and today K.’s grandson Rajinder proclaims to be the living master in the line of K. S. Both claims however are not according to truth. K. S. Himself said that many Saints would come and that He wished all His disciples to become ambassadors of Truth.

The Anurag Sagar in the edition of Bhai Jamal -
Notes regarding today's confusions of the twelve paths;
I: Imperfect Master of Sant Mat

Master said (essentially): “At the moment I do not know anybody who is able to take over this work; if anyone appears in the future is in the hands of God. "Then He said emphatically, "Whoever turns up in the future, I tell you very clearly that he will not belong to my family! ” [...]

Kirpal Singh, Tustin, USA, December 1963, excerpt from:
The question of succession - A guest contribution by Dr. med. George Arnsby Jones -
Sat Sandesh November 1974 - English Edition

Again I became disappointed – but how can someone give you something if he does not has anything himself.

The world is full of fake Masters. If a Master can guide us about the seat of mind within and tell us how it runs out, it is all right. Otherwise, bid him good-bye and search for a True Preceptor. Do not waste your time.

Compiled: Master Volume II - Inn of Madness -
VII Mind: How to control it -
by Kirpal Singh, 1894-1974

Years passed by and somehow it urged me again to read the Anurag Sagar. I quickly found it in the internet on the website santmat-thetruth.de and I then finally contacted the website operators.

To each question an answer was given to me and one day I was invited to come on Bhandara to Leipzig.

Full of excitement and anticipation I arrived in Leipzig and was welcomed by very kind and very polite, absolutely normal people.

All are disciples of Kirpal.

No turbaned hippies who believe to float above a carpet. There I also learned to know – as I realized later – my first and only friend in my life.

Very intense, enlightening conversations took place and again and again I was disappointed – but this time in a positive sense – get rid of illusion.

[dis-appointed is meant in German as dis-illusioned – translator’s note]

On the second day of the first visit, during a conversation with a disciple of Kirpal, I suddenly noticed a soft sweet light sound on the right side. *

* Sawan Singh said analogously that the Sound Current always comes from above; but as we are accustomed to hearing, we perceive the Sound initially from the right.

Kirpal Singh wrote on this topic to an initiate:

When you listen to the Sound you are not to follow it to trace out its source of emanation, as in that way it fades out. You should simply keep on listening at your eye-focus with rapt attention. It will draw close, grow stronger, and ultimately come from above.

Spiritual Elixir
Part II / II - V: Meditation,
by Kirpal Singh, 1894–1974

Since that day I am allowed to listen to His voice. Always more intensive, uplifting.

As I experienced, our Almighty Father has blessed me furthermore in His infinite Grace with Light.

My search had reached its goal after almost thirty years.

It is true, when the soul cries full of yearning from the bottom of the heart, our Father can not do other, He will bring His child to someone, who knows the way home.

There is food for the hungry and water for the thirsty; demand and supply is the law of nature, and where fire burns, oxygen comes to help. When man has hunger for God in his heart, God manifests Himself at some Human Pole to guide the child-humanity.

God Power, Christ Power, Master Power, – Chapter I,
by Kirpal Singh, 1894-1974

I was told, how I should sit regularly before initiation, in loving rememberance of Him and I also use this blessing at Amrit Vela. The satsang visits are very enlightening and the Bhandaras are very blessed. To the Bhandaras – days, on which a True Master was born or has left the world – even days before the Sound Current becomes very intense, the blessing of God is immeasurable at this time.

Once when I was a guest at the disciple on whom I heard the Sound Current for the first time
and I sat there in meditation, I was allowed to perceive the scent of roses. **

** The scent of the rose becomes perceptible when between the soul and the Almighty stands no thought anymore.

He is always with us, the only thing, which seperates us is, where we attract our attention, on Him or on external things, the world.

From that day on, when I was allowed to hear His voice for the first time, I know, I am saved
and my life is full of wonder, daily.

Meanwhile I see Him working everywhere He has a wonderful sense of humor.

He's not just my Father, but also my best friend and protector.

Where other say: “I’ve been lucky,” I know, He was it. Happens something that seems not so pleasant, such as injury, illness or loss, I know that He has chosen the for me most bearable/mildest variant.

Help and protection is always extended by the Master to His followers. He looks after their comforts in every way, both outer and inner. Even the effects of the reactions of the past – from the gallows to an ordinary pin-prick – so much concession is given. As the mother sacrifices everything for the sake of her child, even so does the Master sacrifice everything for the sake of His children. The follower in fact does not dream of what the Master does for him.

The cage of the soul –
Excerpt from a letter from Kirpal Singh to a New York student,
published in the English-language Sat Sandesh September 1970 edition

That’s why I always thank Him – for everything He gives me and for everything He takes from me – because I know, it’s all for my best.

I'm not afraid, He’s closer to me than my breath.

It is a path of trust, like Hazur Sawan Singh said.

May He bless all souls, from Pind to Anami, wherever they are. We are all One.

Marco H.