A Disciple’s Impressions

I

By Master’s Grace, I was in India in July and August of 1974. As the days of my stay passed, I knew that in retrospect the stay there would become very memorable to me. It was not until 21^st August that the importance of these memories was forcibly thrust upon me. In the confused events of that night, my inability to take full advantage of all that Master offered was exposed. ‘Procrastination is the thief of time’ came to me again and again. If I had not been distracted by trips into Delhi, other Satsangis, and other things, I might not feel the physical separation so acutely.

Looking back on the six weeks I spent in Master’s presence, it seems abundantly clear that He was gently preparing us for what was to come. In many of the talks and Darshans Master stressed again and again the necessity of being independent. It was not until Master left the body that the full impact of these words hit me.

The first time that I clearly remember Master stressing independence was when He responded to a question I raised in a darshan. I had been sick for three days and although I felt physically sound, my mind absolutely refused to be calm for meditation.

I started my question with,

Master, I was sick last week …

The Master quickly interrupted.

You weren’t sick, your body was sick.

He said this with a beautiful mixture of firmness and good humour and we all laughed. I rephrased my question (‘My body has been sick’) and told Master of my difficulties in meditating.

He replied,

God gives us grand opportunities.

He then related the story of how He had used a period of fever for constant meditation even before He was initiated. I felt very small when I compared the length of my illness to His – He had had a constant fever for six months, while I had been sick for only three days.

In my room after this darshan, I soon realised that Master had taken away whatever was impeding my meditation. My mind was comparatively docile. I also realised that He had given me a deep insight into the difference between body and soul. I felt that night very powerful in the energy He had radiated to me. I saw so clearly how much work was involved in the Path, but also saw that it was possible to succeed – His shining presence was the proof of that.

I had to rise above the changes my body went through; I must be independent of them.

Another time that Master spoke of the virtues of independence was on the day before Indian Independence Day – which is on 15^th August. A Western student who was living at the Ashram asked permission to attend a speech by Indira Gandhi. Master became very animated and sat straight up in His chair.

Leaning forward and sweeping the whole group with His powerful glance, He said,

I wish everyone to be independent.

He went on to explain that this meant being less and less dependent on the outer environment and outgoing faculties.